It isn't enough to talk about peace. One must believe in it. And it isn't enough to believe in it. One must work at it. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
Peaceful parenting goes beyond vowing to be a non-violent parent. Certainly, deciding not to use violent forms of punishment, like spanking, is a large part of this parenting philosophy. However, to parent with peace, one must also create harmony in the home environment and teach children to be gentle people.
Create Harmony in the Home Environment
Creating a peaceful home environment encourages everyone who lives in that home to be more relaxed. When we are relaxed, we feel calmer and are more likely to interact with others in a gentle way.
- A harmonious home is orderly. It is hard to feel peaceful when the house is dirty and filled with clutter. Unfortunately, clutter tends to build up quickly in a house with children. Toys seem to overtake bedrooms and living rooms. Teach children how to organize their toys. Likewise, model good organizing and cleaning habits in the rest of the house and enlist your children’s help.
- A peaceful home has a predictable routine. Most children do best when there is a reliable flow to their day. Meals, naptimes, outings and bedtime should fall roughly at the same time each day.
- Set a calm mood in the house. Turn the television off for extended periods of time. The loud, fast pace of many television programs interferes with a peaceful environment. Instead, play relaxing music or simply enjoy the silence.
Teach Kindness and Respect
Model peaceful behavior. When angered, find ways to calm yourself before acting. Take a deep breath or pray for peace. Refrain from violent forms of punishment. Also, refrain from yelling and screaming in anger at your children.
Encourage kindness by modeling it. Point out kindness to your children when you see it in public. Praise your children when they exhibit this desirable behavior.
- Establish a kindness jar by writing each kind act you witness on a slip of paper and putting it in a jar. When the jar is full, take the slips out to reread and reflect on the kindnesses that your children have displayed.
Talk about peaceful conflict resolution with siblings. Brainstorm ways to solve problems when everyone is calm. Encourage children to use the techniques that they discovered in the brainstorming session to resolve conflicts.
- Older children may want to try writing their argument instead of verbally attacking each other. Writing will force them to think about what they want to say and slow down their response time, preventing them from acting impulsively.
References:
Discipline at Home, 28 Ways to Teach Nonviolence, Kindness and Peacefulness to Children, Cheryl Landy, PH.D.
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