Getting Kids Involved in House Work: Motivating Children to Help Around the House

Kids often just want to play and find it boring to clean up. While some little kids love to help around the house, their help often isn’t of much significance. Encouraging this, however, can make it easier as they get older.

Making Games of Cleaning

With younger children, an adult usually has to help with cleaning that is done. Make a game of it, seeing who can pick up the most toys the fastest. It’s usually a good idea to give encouragement to the child by making sure that he is faster at it than any adults or older children. It can also be a game to see who can clean the dinner spot the best, or who can sweep the most crumbs, for example. And even who can bring in the least amount of dirt on their shoes for cleaning the shoes outside. This kind of competitiveness not only encourages the children to learn the importance of being clean, but it also makes it fun to do so. Making beds, for example, is another one… Whose bed can have the smoothest top?

Using a Natural Reward System to Complete Chores

While paying kids to do their chores isn’t always the best solution, there are some natural consequences that act as rewards. If kids haven’t cleaned the toys up, then there is no playground until the toys are put away. It’s not safe to leave a dirty living room, for example. If kids have a particular habit of being messy, then the natural consequence of not being able to do other things, such as play a game that is a favourite, until the mess is cleaned up helps to encourage the children to be tidier in their play.

It sometimes happens that kids won’t put their clothes away or refuse to help with laundry, when they should. The natural consequence of this is running out of clean clothes to wear. Don’t help the child out by doing the work for her. If she has no clothes to wear to go outside and play, then she has to stay in until she puts them away or helps to clean. These are natural consequences that help a child to learn how her actions affect her life and those around her.

Creatively Encourage Cleanliness

Sometimes kids have a particular thing that they like to do or receive. Some kids, for example, really like to help with baking. But a natural consequence of not being clean is that the baking does not get done until the other things are clean, first. This can help encourage a child! Think of the things around the home that have such natural consequences of not being clean, whether projects or games or even having friends over, that can help encourage a youngster to help around the house. The rewards are amazing!

Jul 16, 2009 9:50 AM

Guest :

It sound so easy the reward system. But what if the child still defies the adult and contues to leave clothes dirty, they cannot see what is wrong with wearing dirty clothes? Children don't care what they wear, but us adults do. If there is still no clean clothes, children will choose to wear dirty ones! They cannot always become responsible. What do you advise?

Jul 16, 2009 11:33 AM

Johanus Haidner :

Kids can't be let to wear dirty clothes just because they want to! If a parent chooses to let that child be dirty all the time, then the natural consequences of that are going to end up being getting sick, being ostracized at school, and so forth. A parent has to make the consequences. If the clothes aren't put in the laundry and cleaned, then the child starts to lose simple priveleges, such as associating with those in the house or going outside. A particularly stubborn child can start to lose other priveleges. No one wants to be around a dirty person. Have the child isolated, perhaps. No TV, because others don't want to sit with the dirty child. No meals except in the kid's room. Be creative and reasonable. If a kid wants something and cleaning is the only way to get it, then that child will happily clean! Also make sure that the consequences are age appropriate. An 8-year-old who doesn't pick up his clothes is likely to have the above recommendations work really well. A 16-year-old may be another story. And a teenager should be old enough to listen to reason a little better. At that point, denying other privileges, including favourite things such as computers, ipods, telephone and visits, may be alternatives.

It is also possible that the child has a favoured outfit or item of clothing. This can be denied until the other items are also clean. Or it can simply be that the child leaves dirty clothes around the floor in her room, then the adult can pick them up, put them in the laundry area, but not clean them. When the child has no clothes it will become an issue! And that is a good opportunity to teach that child how to clean those clothes, fold them and put them away.

Parents have to be dilligent and consistent. The reward and natural consequences system isn't always easy. Sometimes it's actually harder than simply punishing a child or doing things for the child. But it does yield the best long term results. And it teaches kids responsibility and skills for when they are adults themselves.